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xanphibian @ 08:12 am: drabble (sga, john/rodney, established, PG)
for yin_again

Rodney sitting on the stairs in the control room with his elbow on his knee and his hand cupping his chin, fingertips resting against his cheekbone.

“Sometimes, I look at the gate and wish we’d never even stepped through it,” Rodney said quietly.

John hadn’t realized Rodney had noticed his presence.

“I could have stayed on earth,” Rodney went on, “written papers, done research there or developed new theories. Maybe proved a few and gotten that Nobel prize.” He turned and looked up at John. Motioned him to sit down beside him.

It was quiet, no one in the control or gate rooms. It was darker than usual, only a few glowing panels illuminating Rodney’s expression. He looked oddly vulnerable.

“You ever feel like that, John?” he asked. “Like maybe it would be better if we never came?”

John took a deep breath. “Yeah.” Honesty. “All the things we’ve fucked up, all the good people who’ve died ...”

Rodney’s nod was full of understanding. “Exactly. But then ...”

“But then we’d have never seen the things we have.” Glance towards the gate, then back to Rodney. “There’s been good stuff. The wild and crazy exciting stuff that ...” He trailed off, knowing he didn’t have to say the words, knew Rodney felt the same way, even when his head was full of the same regrets John had.

“Yeah.”

John put his arm around Rodney, pulling him close. “And if we hadn’t come, we’d never have gotten together.”

Rodney’s expression changed lightning fast, like it did when he was working something out in his head and suddenly came to the solution to a crisis. He smiled.

“And that’s worth it all?” Soft voice, only a hint of doubt.

“Fuck, yeah,” John said, and pulled Rodney in for a long, intense kiss that defined everything he felt.

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Comments

[User Picture]
From:amazonx
Date:January 31st, 2006 02:08 pm (UTC)

Very sweet

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A character study, who regrets first, and who brings about the positive to push those regrets away. Makes sense to me. Thank you!
From:xanphibian
Date:January 31st, 2006 03:49 pm (UTC)

Re: Very sweet

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You're very welcome! *snugs you* Thank you!
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